Fat

[vc_row full_width="" parallax="" parallax_image="" animation="" animation_delay="" fullwidth="no" bg_type="solid_color" bg_repeat="no-repeat" video_texture="" fw_columns="" fw_same_height="" border="" waved_border_top="" waved_border_bottom="" top_margin="0" bottom_margin="0"][vc_column width="1/6" animation="" animation_delay=""][vc_widget_sidebar sidebar_id="hb-custom-sidebar-postsidebar" el_class="float-left"][/vc_column][vc_column width="5/6" animation="" animation_delay=""][vc_column_text css_animation="" el_class="nbm"][dropcap style="fancy"]Y[/dropcap]ou're such a skinny child, it looks like you're not eating. I suppose since you're outside playing all day, it explains why you're so thin. Oh, you're going to be so beautiful when you get older. Going to break hearts, that's what you're going to do. How about for your birthday we get you a chocolate cake? You love chocolate and it's a special occasion. But not too much now, you don't want to get fat like those other girls at school. You're growing so much, so fast, have you been eating too much? No, no, you play sports at school and run around with all those other kids. You're not fat, I promise. You're so skinny, have you been eating enough? Well don't worry, we'll put some meat on those bones. You should take a second helping of dinner, you're just too thin. I can see your ribs sticking out of your chest. Why aren't you eating your dinner? Don't you love me? I worked and slaved all day over this meal, you're going to eat it. If you don't like it, then you can go to your room and just do without.Oh, you did so well on your math test, I'm going to make you a special dinner. Now don't forget to take a second helping, I'm making this just for you and you don't want it to go to waste, do you? You're always such a good girl, I'm so proud of you. What? You want to quit the soccer team? You don't want to do sports? Why? After everything you put into them... you want to read? Now I know you're a good student, but that's taking it a bit too far. People don't read for fun in their spare time. No, no, I don't want to talk about it. I can't even make dinner now, I'm so upset. This is your fault, upsetting me like this, why can't you just be a good girl like you've always been? Why are you changing now?I found chocolate in your room the other day. I know you're going through your cycles and you get cravings but you shouldn't eat all this junk. You're going to get fat and you're going to hate yourself. You'll hate how you look in the mirror, you'll hate how you'll look in clothes, so you should just stop it with the food right now. I'm taking all of the junk food out of this house and you're no longer allowed to have it. No daughter of mine will be fat.You used to play sports, why don't you do that anymore? Sitting around with a book in your hand, writing down who-knows-what, it's just not healthy. You can't be an author, you need a worthwhile career. You need to be doing something in medicine or law or business, something with stability. You can't be sitting around at a desk all day, you'll gain weight and who wants to look at a fat author on a book jacket? Hmph, maybe if you were some trashy romance writer, but you're not. You're meant for better things. Now come on, I made you an extra-healthy dinner with broccoli and brown rice. No big portions though, you're already gaining weight, I had to buy you new pants the other day. Small portions only.It's the freshman fifteen. I told you about it. I warned you and warned you, and now you're huge. I don't care what they say, size 14 is fat and you should be ashamed of yourself. You've become a slob. Look at you, wearing jeans and sweatshirts all the time when you used to wear dresses. You used to wear shorts. Now you're ashamed of your body, just like I said you would be. Don't talk to me like that, how could you not be ashamed? I don't care that these other girls are wearing dresses, they're all just fat and hiding the fact that they're ashamed of their bodies. They can't stand that they're lazy and don't do anything to change themselves into better people. When they get older, they're going to regret this. You're going to regret gaining all this weight when you can't get rid of it. It's not too late, I can get you a gym membership and I'll help you start dieting. Maybe you can start going to Weight Watchers or try the Atkins diet, I hear they work wonders. Don't worry. You'll get over this phase and be normal again.Why don't you come see me anymore? Not even at Christmas and I made all your favorite foods. I even broke down and made you pumpkin pie, just the way you liked it as a child. I don't understand, we were so close when you were little. I was always so proud of you. You hate me now. You have to. You won't answer my calls, you won't send me a letter, I don't even know how you're doing at your new job. Did you get married? Are you seeing anyone? I miss you so much. Is this because you got fat? You're angry that you gained all that weight and looked hideous and when I pointed it out and tried to help, you got mad at me? I was only trying to help, why can't you see that I only wanted what's best for you?Please. Please come see me. I'm so lonely here. I want to go home, to my own house, but they won't let me. They say it's for my own good. They say I can't take care of myself anymore, after the stroke. I've gained so much weight, sitting in this chair all day that I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. Is this how you felt when I talked to you like that? Is this how you felt when others talked to you like I did? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to be happy and no one's happy when they're fat. I'm not. I'm not happy. I feel bloated and heavy and weighed down all the time. I'm begging you, please. Come see me. Just once more. The last time I saw you was at your wedding, 20 years ago. You didn't invite me to see your children be born. I was so hurt, so mad, but I realize now: you were too. You were furious with me, furious at how I spoke to you, how I looked at you, like you weren't my daughter anymore. But you were. You always were. I just didn't understand what you were going through. I didn't understand the depression, the loneliness, the pressure to succeed. I didn't understand you ate because it was your only joy in life. I made it worse and for that, I'm so sorry. Forgive me.Your voice whispering to me...“I forgive you, mom.”[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]