American Horror Story: Hotel meets Children of the Corn
[vc_row][vc_column width="2/3"][vc_single_image image="79490" img_size="full"][title type="subtitle-h6"]© Copyright 2015, FX Networks. All rights reserved.[/title][vc_empty_space][vc_column_text]Just when I thought that Alex couldn’t make worse life choices, she throws shit to the fan. As I had predicted, her personal life got in the way of doing her doctorly duties; instead of taking a coffee break in the lounge, one can find her sitting in a closet drinking donor blood. However, her Good Samaritan side kicks in when she sees a child in need, so she makes the decision to turn him into a vampire. I could be wrong, but I think she may be overstepping her job description by changing this boy’s entire genetic make-up. Just my humble opinion.Thanks to Alex, the little boy with the measles gets to go home. His mother claims it to be a miracle, but it’s short lived; this new little vampire kills both of his parents before Costume Day at school. He then proceeds to make all his classmates into vampires and kill the faculty. Your pirate costume fools no one, little boy, except for the police. What a bloody miracle it is to have this boy saved.
Besides all the children killing the faculty, here are some noteworthy points I’d like to add:
-
Middle schoolers make out in closets now
Maybe I was just too much of an ugly duckling in middle school, but I never macked on a boy in a closet during class. Vampire Boy and his little girlfriend sneak away during the party to make-out, and things start getting a little heated. She was also, like, really upset he never texted her back, even if he was in the hospital. He tries to make it up to her by making-out, but he makes her into a vampire in the process. I’m sure your middle school love and sexual desire will span the rest of eternity, and you two shall be very happy with your twelve-year-old choices.
-
Lowe gets fired for talking like a loonie
Detective Lowe goes to his boss and tells him about his disturbing Devil’s Night, including all of the dead serial killers he dined with that evening. Obviously, his boss doesn’t believe a word of it, and promptly dismisses him. What does Lowe do with this news? He goes back to the hotel and has a one-night stand with Sally. Tsk, tsk Lowe, you’re still a married man!
-
Does anyone care about Scarlett anymore?
With Lowe in his cups and Alex doing stupid vampire things, where does that leave Scarlett? She was completely absent from this episode, and no one mentions her. I feel like I need to be the concerned parent since no one else is doing that job.
-
We finally know how Liz came to be a Hotel Cortez employee
While consoling Iris and her new vampire problems, Liz finally tells us her story. She’s not, in fact, immortal; she chooses to live in the Hotel Cortez and keep everything hushed. The Countess did help Liz make that important transition into trans life, and Liz feels indebted to her, but in a positive way. Liz is still giving her family back home a monthly amount, but I’m sure her wife and two kids wonder how that business trip got to be so long.
-
Blaine from Glee and the Even Steven’s Dad both get killed
It’s a sad day when two of my favorite TV characters get killed off in the same episode they appear in. It was hard enough to see Schmidt die, but both Blaine and Steven’s Dad? It’s almost enough to make me stop watching. Almost.
After this episode, I’m hoping Alex gets caught by the Countess; Alex broke the most important rule of being a vampire, and I have the feeling she will be punished severely. Lowe will forever be the hot mess that he is, and maybe he will remember he has a daughter. With all that boozing he’s doing, that may not be likely. Iris will continue to be an incognito spy, and I think actions will be made to take down the Countess. As for March, I’m not sure what he’ll be up to, but I am always up for a surprise.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text][/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]