Who Should Rory End Up With? No One

As this Thanksgiving creeps nearer, millennial women huddle close to their laptops into the early hours. Tie-dye shirts and bootcut jeans grace the screen and dizzyingly quick dialogue slips out of the speakers. They are preparing for one of the most highly-anticipated events in television show history: the Gilmore Girls revival.I am admittedly one of these eager viewers. I was late to the Gilmore Girls party and only started watching a little over a year ago when my roommate recommended it to me, but rest assured, the anticipation is eating away at me just as much as any longtime fan of the series.Gilmore Girls is arguably one of the defining pieces of pop culture of the oughts and has amassed a loyal following during the seven years it was on air. The show follows Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel), an iconic mother-daughter duo navigating through the challenges of life and growing up with spunk, wit, and obscene amounts of coffee.After only a few episodes, the characters begin to feel so familiar. Once you make it through several seasons, watching an episode feels like home. So with a show that I just described like one would a life partner, I should be devouring any and all information about the reboot with unmatched enthusiasm. But it has proved to be difficult to do so when every article is titled “Who Should Rory End Up With?”After the fifth time of seeing this sort of fodder on my Facebook newsfeed, I made up my mind. No one. Rory should end up with no one.No, it’s not because I have some sort of vendetta against the character and believe that she should be subjected to a lifetime of loneliness and take-out. Rory is nothing if not flawed and has made her fair share of mistakes throughout the series. She is at times self-centered and conceited, but is she undeserving of love? Absolutely not. I am rooting for a single Rory at the end of the show is because she actually deserves better than the three boyfriends she was supplied with on the show. But even if Rory had found a truly wonderful partner, it would not negate the fact that the excessive speculation about her love life seems to clash with the main message of the show. Gilmore Girls is at its core a series about the importance of female friendships and the sheer power of women supporting women. When it is reduced to romantic plotlines, we lose sight of what it’s really all about. Rory’s first boyfriend, Dean (Jared Padalecki), was the most irritating of the bunch. He was actually invested in the relationship, though perhaps too much so. Dean cared for Rory and treated her with respect for the most part. What turned me off was his possessiveness and unjustified levels of aggression. Even after they were broken up, he would try to pick fights with Rory’s new boyfriend as if she still “belonged” to him. I found myself shaking my computer screen, aggressively whispering “Stop trying so hard! Get over it!” Not a good sign.Jess (Milo Ventimiglia) almost deceived me with his lethal combination of a strong jaw line and deep love of literature. Once I stopped swooning and watching video montages of him set to pop ballads on Youtube, it was hard to ignore his lack of respect for everyone, Rory included. Jess also tried too hard, but perhaps not as blatantly as Dean. His need to rebel against the system and suppress any sliver of emotion only led him to alienate those who loved and cared about him the most. Logan (Matt Czuchry) is interesting because his character development actually led me to appreciate him more as the series went on, unlike the previous boyfriends. When he is introduced, he is the antithesis to Rory and her aspirations. He begins as a rich, party-seeking player who is afraid to commit to anything that doesn’t involve a keg. As he passes through college, though, he matures and realizes Rory is a priority in his life. What is concerning is that he can’t shake the materialism and privileged mindset he was brought up with, as exemplified by him trying to gift his way out of many of his relationship troubles. Rory is so much more interesting than the status of her dating life. The hype around who she’s hooking up with downplays so many of her accomplishments and aspirations. From the first episode, Rory has consistently prioritized her education and career, a bold and empowering choice that is important for women to see. Her boyfriends have come and gone, but what has remained constant is her remarkable drive and focus. This all being said, I want to make it clear that I am by no means against romance and love stories - in this case or any other. In fact, you would be hard pressed to find someone who has rewatched Pride and Prejudice than me. My problem is not at all with the presence of love interests in the show. Dean, Jess, and Logan all served beautifully to aid Rory’s character development and nothing entices me more than a budding romance. My problem is with the fact that this seems to be the only thing viewers are taking away from the series, allowing it to overshadow so many of the other wonderful things it has to offer.I venture to say my annoyance stems from a deeper, more complex issue in popular media. My concern is that this perpetuates a myth subconsciously held by many that women characters are more interesting when they are functioning in relation to a man. The number of movies being released that still fail the Bechdel test and the public’s obsession with a heroine’s love interest (i.e. The Hunger Games) are evidence that this is still an issue and that there are still many strides yet to be made in pop culture. Unfortunately, this trend reflects an even more pervasive issue in a seemingly progressive society: the belief that women need men for validationGilmore Girls is not a perfect show. But it has embodied so many important messages of love and empowerment that are crucial for young adults and especially women to see. It has provided comfort, laughter, and joy for countless people. Gilmore Girls serves as a reminder of how meaningful, healthy and caring relationships with the women in my life can be. So when I’m bundled up on the couch with a slice of pizza in hand and the last few seconds of Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life play out, I want to see Lorelai and Rory sharing coffee and witty conversation at Luke’s Diner. A single, ringless, badass Rory.