When I Miss the Sun

Written by Anna Rodriguez

Photography by Aida Ebrahimi

They say that you don’t really know a city until you have lived in it. After that, it’s no longer the stranger with the coy grin at the bar, cloaked in mystery and intrigue. One that is both inviting and intoxicating. After that, it is the partner whose stacked dirty dishes slowly build a bubbling rage in you but who you would drop everything for to get soup and medicine for should they fall ill. For better or for worse, you know a little too much about them. There are maddening moments, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. While after a little over a month here I can’t say I know London like the latter scenario, I can say that with each passing day my vision of the city sharpens a little more. When I was here as a tourist, I was blinded by charming Georgian architecture and an air of propriety. Now, this idealized view is refuted with the realities of living in a metropolitan city. I can’t pretend I am anything but grateful for my experience to be studying in a city with such rich history, beautiful landmarks, and diverse people, but every so often I catch myself yearning for a little piece of home. This poem I wrote is about living in a new place and the moments where you miss bright, far away things.

When I Miss the Sun

Since I have been here,

I do not miss the sun often.

No

I have been too busy

being swept up and carried around by

the lilting voices

that twinkle in the smoky twilight,

savoring the warmth

that only cider and kindred souls can provide

at pubs on forgotten corners,

walking down lamp-lined streets

whose names I won’t remember but

whose brick facades

worn and beautiful

are cemented in my mind.

But

every so often

when the rain has seeped through

layers of cloth, skin, and bone,

and the embraces of strangers

on a bulleting train

beneath the cold earth

don’t quite feel like my mother’s,

and the clouds of cigarette fumes

begin to knead at my skull,

When the grey quilted sky

seems to grimace back at me,

Oh

that is when

I miss the sun.